How to Make Homemade Microwave Popcorn in a Paper Bag

 I love movie theater popcorn. It's daunting in the sheer thrill of sitting down with a bucket of popcorn the size of your torso and mindlessly munching on it for two hours straight. Seriously: are there other snacks that we can eat in such insane amounts without feeling like we're breaking social taboos?

But I don't go to the movies very often, and I don't like pre-packaged microwave popcorn. The fake butter flavoring leaves a strange film-like sensation on my tongue, reminding me that I don't know what's really in the popcorn. (At least the chemical once used to flavor popcorn can cause a rare respiratory disease, a chemical with the banal but terrifying name "popcorn lung" that is now banned.)

So my husband and I started trying to make popcorn at home. We considered buying an air popper, but we have a small kitchen, and the thought of having to pull out the stool to rummage through unused canning equipment I had once purchased out of brief ambition to retrieve single-use equipment was not appealing. I tried a few times to make popcorn in a pot on the stove, but could never get the heat quite right - either half the kernels wouldn't pop, or I overcooked it. (And burnt popcorn = the worst.)

 

Heat Sealable Custom Microwaveable Popcorn Paper Bag

 

But then my husband read about a way to make popcorn in the microwave using only kraft lunch bags, and our family movie night was forever changed. The method is foolproof (well, mostly - see the warning notes below), takes less than 3 minutes, and makes popcorn that neither thins your tongue nor causes a rare respiratory illness. Here's how to do it.

 

 

1. Place popcorn kernels in a paper bag

Place ¼ cup of uncooked popcorn kernels in a brown paper lunch bag. (Note: To avoid the possible use of metallic paint, this should be a plain, unadorned paper bag. (I once used a paper bag with a Kitty theme and Kitty's face caught on fire.) This one doesn't need grease points - cooking doesn't need it, it will just soak through the bag and make your microwave greasy.

 

2. Fold the bag to seal

Fold the top of the bag down about half an inch to seal it. Then fold it again, pressing firmly. (You want to make sure the bag is securely closed so it doesn't burst when the nuts start to pop.)

 

3. Place the bag in the microwave

Place the bag upright in the microwave and place the microwave on high for 2.5 minutes. Then stay nearby and listen: Whether or not the 2.5 minutes is over, you will want to stop the microwave as soon as the popping slows down to avoid overcooking. If you have a powerful microwave, the popcorn will be ready much faster. Carefully open the bag and keep your face and fingers away from the steam.

 

 

4. Season the popcorn

Technically, you can add the seasoning directly to the bag at this point, but this can be a bit messy. I like to pour the popcorn into my largest mixing bowl, mostly because I (boo) usually make two batches and want to have plenty of room to mix the ingredients.

The wonderful thing about homemade popcorn is that you can flavor it however you want. Like it tasty? Add olive oil, parmesan cheese and rosemary. Like it spicy? Add coconut oil and cayenne pepper. Like a weird fake movie on your tongue? On your own. I like to stir in any wet toppings (like butter or oil) first and let the dry toppings (salt, spices, sugar) stick to the top.

My favorite toppings are just melted butter and salt, but sometimes, when I decide to go "healthy," I top my popcorn with some delicious, good-sounding product from the health food store, like nutritional yeast, which adds a salty, nutty flavor and a few drops of coconut aminos that tastes a little like sweet soy sauce.

Then I ate 10 cups of popcorn and decided to go all out and raid my kids' candy stash. Because the only thing that compares to movie theater popcorn? Movie theater candy.